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Maps, Manicures & The Shambles Of Life

Guys, I have had a manicure and I am ready for our fifth date (I can't concentrate on typing without a fresh set) generally on a fifth date you're really looking into of this person and what qualities are for you, so to help you decided whats for you, I have a guide...

So far we've looked at breaking up with our exes (chain coffee) how to spot the red flags, and where to find the green ones (cool independents) next up is knowing what to order and what it should look like, so I've devised a coffee map so you can navigate the menus and really know what you should be ordering. These all stand true for most independent coffee shops, however please allow for some to not abide by these guidelines, but feel free to correct anyone needed.


Before I start, rule 0.1: steamed milk should always be the same texture for every milk based drink apart from a cappuccino, ie flat white, latte, piccolo etc etc should all be the same. I am aware chain shops will do thinner milk for lattes, however this is quite frankly nothing less than wrong. So remember; thick velvety milk as standard, cappuccino foam on the other hand should be a meringue like texture. Rule 0.2: all coffee's should have 2 shots or 2oz of espresso as standard, no good coffee shops (imo) will ever offer a single shot.


So without further ado; The Map


Espresso - 2oz coffee, quite stright forward.

Piccolo / Macchiato / Cortado - 2oz epresso and 2oz steamed milk. Big variation on names for this one, i have no idea either.

Long Black - 2oz epresso and 6oz hot water (and if a shop knows what they are doing, the offer an ice cube to bring it to the correct drinking temp) Dash of milk optional.

Short Black - 2oz epresso and 4oz hot water, ice cube and milk rule withstanding.

Americano - essentially a long black, some shops will have this on the menu but a lot wont, however i felt it informative to include this.

Flat White - 2oz espresso and 4oz steamed milk.

Latte - 2oz epresso and 6oz steamed milk.

Capuccino - 2oz epresso, 3oz steamed milk, 3oz thicc foam.


I hope you found this a simple and informative read. I am aware we've been more info focused on this admission, though knowledge is always helpful I understand it's far less entertaining, I so I promise next weeks we'll feature more into the shambles of life.



Stay healthy x




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